Most of the time our mind just generates noise. It potentiates worries, fears, thoughts about the future, thoughts about the past, reenactments of the way things should have been and/or should be. In this state it is not possible to be happy. In my opinion it is impossible because there is nothing to be tethered to. Everything is in flux. It is a moving target- the memory alters what actually happened in the and the future obviously is impossible to predict. The only moment we can tether to is the present- and yet the mind does not allow us to do this. This noisy process of the mind potentiates our sexual compulsion. There is nothing pleasurable about this, living in lala land and having poor mental well being. The incessant noise associated with anxiety, fear, shame and so fourth is a fertile ground for compulsion to survive and flourish. Obviously managing the initial wounds that drive compulsion are important- but what happens on a day to day basis as we try to manage our addictive compulsions? How do you maintain control- or take it back? How does your inner essence filter the minds bullshit from reality and help you move forward? How can we sit there an observe mind and instead of using addiction as crutch to control the incessant nature of the mind- sit there and simply realize and say… there goes my mind again… silly mind and diffuse it?
Here is basic list of some items that can work- not always, but a lot of the time. It takes commitment… and time… but it does get better
Breathe- Just trying to slow yourself down. Turn off the amygdala driven response and give the higher cortical brain regions time to kick in. This is also very helpful in day to day interactions… slowing down the automatic responses allowing for your mind to generate a more meaningful and measured response.
Get outside- getting into nature and just letting the breeze and environment can really slow down mind.
Exercise-This needs no further explanation i do not think.
Meditate- This is hard to do— but I have learned it does not have to be hours on end. A few minutes here or there can help. Look at the Waking up mediation app- it is great introduction to mediation.
Talk to someone– find someone to talk to… someone you can be 100% honest with. Honesty is important
Musings of someone figuring out how to be present 