What is always true?

The idea that we can re-write our software and fix the damage cortical pieces that lead us into addictive behaviors might be described as positive brain washing. Scrubbing out the bullshit compulsion that got us here and replacing it with something more positive and rewarding. Like everything, you have to commit to the process of healing- if your not committed it simply will not happen.

The two key behavioral reset behaviors that kicked off my recovery process included saying 20 times a day “what is always true” and the realization that “I am not my mind”. Today I want to briefly remind myself “what is always true” (note these are tools taken from George Collins).

The process of saying over and over (20 times) “what is always true” whilst looking in the mirror was a key first step to move out of my delusional addicted state and slowly come back to reality and into presence. This simple step, performed mostly first thing in the morning and at night, is a simple but effective way to for me to frame my life and the person “I” am and want to be. This process triggers the cognitive centers in the brain to consider what is reality- who do I want to be, who do I love and what are my responsibilities. When I consider this mantra I think of my family, my children, my career goals. At no stage does being an addict or being defined by addiction come to mind when I am thinking about this (No one is defined by their addiction as far as I am concerned). I think of this as a form of cognitive reestablishment. When we are under the spell of addiction, we spend a lot of time living in a parallel universe (I call it La la land). The stories and delusions our addict personalities feed ourselves to rationalize our behavior are extreme and the addictive personality thrives in isolation and uses fear as a tools to maintain its control. By using “What is always true” mantra, it brings my mind back to the present. In addition, it kick starts the cognitive process of monitoring and managing the compulsive urges that occur (which can often come on thick and fast). It primes the real me to be on guard and ready to fight the compulsions.

It is easy to write this, living it is another thing. Obviously for people suffering compulsive disorders we have an issue with framing the real world correctly to begin with. Our minds created these addictions to escape any number of shitty things. While this is a simple idea- it had a lot of power for me. In my case it was the initial step in my recovery. A step that saved my relationship with my wife and resulted in much more loving and relationship. I also have a truly loving and intimate relationship with her now- something that (sadly) my addiction had prevented for many years (this is not meant as an excuse for any of the hurt my behavior caused, just an observation).

Also, almost 1 year into recovery- writing about what is always true reminded myself why I am doing this. I often forget I am in control. I forget what is always true… but coming back to reality and knowing I am in control- that I have a beautiful life – that I just need to spend more time being present to feel it, helps take the edge off.